Where Will My Kids Live After a Divorce?
Wherever the parenting plan in your judgment says, and Missouri now starts from a presumption that roughly equal parenting time is in a child’s best interests.
That presumption is rebuttable, which means evidence can move it. But it is the starting point for planning life after divorce, and it changed how these conversations begin.
Life after divorce really contains two housing questions rather than one. Where the children will be, and where each parent will be. This page takes them in that order.
What Does Missouri Start From on Parenting Time?
Best interests of the child, plus a rebuttable presumption of equal or approximately equal parenting time.
Section 452.375.2 RSMo provides that “The court shall determine custody in accordance with the best interests of the child. There shall be a rebuttable presumption that an award of equal or approximately equal parenting time to each parent is in the best interests of the child.”
Three words in that sentence do most of the work. Rebuttable, which means it can be overcome on evidence. Approximately, which means the presumption is not a stopwatch. And parenting time, which is not the same thing as legal custody. Decision making authority is a separate question, covered on our page on joint legal custody.
The same subsection lists the factors the court weighs, including the needs of the child for a frequent, continuing and meaningful relationship with both parents, which parent is more likely to allow that contact with the other, the child’s adjustment to home, school and community, the mental and physical health of everyone involved including any history of abuse, and “The unobstructed input of a child, free of coercion and manipulation, as to the child’s custodial arrangement.”
What Has to Be in the Document That Decides It?
A parenting plan, and the statute spells out what it must contain.
Section 452.310.8 RSMo requires a proposed parenting plan covering custody, visitation and support, including a specific written schedule detailing custody, visitation and residency time for holidays, birthdays, vacations and school breaks, plus how decisions and expenses get handled. Support itself is calculated under Section 452.340 RSMo and Rule 88.01.
Specific is the operative word. A plan reading reasonable and liberal visitation is the kind of plan that produces an argument every December. The statewide form is Form CAFC501, Parenting Plan, and our page on what a parenting plan is walks through it line by line.
Before you sign a parenting plan, know what a specific, workable schedule looks like.
Spend a full hour with an experienced Bardol Law Firm attorney going through the details of your case, understanding your rights, and leaving with clear next steps. It is personalized guidance you can use whether or not you hire us afterward.
$300 · One full hour with an attorney · No obligation to retain our firm
Can the Court Just Use a Standard Schedule?
No, and this is the most consequential recent change in this area of Missouri law.
Section 452.375.11 RSMo provides that a court “shall not adopt any local rule, form, or practice requiring the use of a standardized or default parenting plan,” and that an interim order “shall not contain any provisions regarding custody or a parenting time schedule” without notice and a hearing unless the parties agree.
Note the words shall not, used twice. There is no standard plan waiting in a drawer, and nobody gets a temporary schedule imposed on them without either an agreement or a hearing. If somebody tells you the court has a default arrangement, the statute says otherwise.
Common schedules still exist as starting drafts, and our pages on the every other weekend schedule and the young child plan cover two of them. They are proposals, not defaults.
Does My Child’s Age Decide Where They Live?
Not by itself, and the statute is unusually direct about it.
Section 452.375.8 RSMo provides that no preference may be given to either parent because of that parent’s sex, nor because of the age or sex of the child.
So an argument that runs the child is two years old, therefore the schedule must look a certain way, is asking a court to do something the statute forbids. What carries an age based argument is individualized evidence about this child, not the birthday.
Where Am I Going to Live After a Divorce?
That depends on the property division and on whether support is part of your case, and the statute ties the house to the children.
This is the half of life after divorce that people worry about privately and ask about last.
The first factor in Section 452.330.1 RSMo includes “the desirability of awarding the family home or the right to live therein for reasonable periods to the spouse having custody of any children.”
Read that as two separate options. The home itself, or the right to live in it for a defined period. That second option is why an arrangement where one parent stays in the house for a set time before it is sold is contemplated rather than unusual. Our page on how marital property gets divided covers the wider question.
Whether you can afford to stay is a maintenance question. Section 452.335 RSMo allows maintenance only where the spouse seeking it lacks sufficient property for their reasonable needs and “Is unable to support himself through appropriate employment,” then weighs ten factors including comparative earning capacity, the standard of living established during the marriage and the duration of the marriage. Our pages on what maintenance is and on supporting yourself after a divorce both cover it.
The practical advice from the legacy version of this page survives and it is worth keeping. Start looking at what housing actually costs in the neighborhoods you would consider, early, even if you expect to stay in the house. A number you have checked is worth more in a negotiation than a number you have assumed.
Most parents decide who keeps the house before they ever talk to a lawyer.
What to say, what to sign, whether to move out, how to handle the kids’ schedule. One hour with an experienced Bardol Law Firm attorney before you decide can save you from choices that are hard to undo later. You will leave understanding your rights, your options, and what to do next.
$300 · One full hour · No obligation to hire us
Can I Move After a Divorce?
Yes, and there is a notice procedure you have to follow first, even for a move across town.
Section 452.377 RSMo defines relocation as “a change in the principal residence of a child for a period of ninety days or more,” which does not include a temporary absence. There is no mileage threshold in that definition, which is the part people get wrong. A move inside St. Louis County can be a relocation, so life after divorce carries a notice obligation that does not end when the case does.
Notice “shall be given in writing by certified mail, return receipt requested, to any party with custody or visitation rights,” and absent exigent circumstances “written notice shall be provided at least sixty days in advance of the proposed relocation.”
The notice has to contain six things, including these four.
- The address. “The intended new residence, including the specific address and mailing address, if known, and if not known, the city”
- The phone number. “The home telephone number of the new residence, if known”
- The date. “The date of the intended move or proposed relocation”
- The reason. “A brief statement of the specific reasons for the proposed relocation of a child, if applicable”
The notice must also include a proposed revised custody or visitation schedule and a statement that the other parent may object within thirty days. See relocating your child in Missouri.
The other parent then has thirty days from receipt to file a motion seeking an order to prevent the relocation. If nobody files, the relocating parent may proceed after the sixty days.
One safety exception is built in. A party participating in the address confidentiality program under Section 589.663 RSMo is not required to provide the address information, and the court may order that addresses and identifying information not be disclosed in the pleadings except for an in camera disclosure. Our page on relocating your child in Missouri covers the process in full.
What Happens If Someone Moves Without Giving Notice?
The statute names the consequences rather than leaving them to guesswork.
Section 452.377 RSMo directs the court to consider a failure to give the required notice as a basis for ordering the return of the child if the relocation has already happened, and as sufficient cause to order the relocating party to pay reasonable expenses and attorney fees incurred by the party opposing the relocation.
That is the statute talking, not a prediction. We are not going to tell you what a particular court would do in a particular case. We can tell you that skipping the notice puts two specific remedies on the table that would not otherwise be there, and that the notice itself is a letter.
What Does Life After Divorce Not Change on Its Own?
Three things, and each one is a reason people end up back in court.
The judgment governs until it is changed. Life after divorce tends to drift toward whatever the two of you actually do, and an informal arrangement does not amend a parenting plan. Section 452.377 RSMo does let parties who agree on a revised schedule submit their agreement to the court, which is the right way to make a change stick.
Changing custody takes a motion and a standard. Section 452.410.1 RSMo requires a showing of new facts or facts previously unknown, a change in circumstances of the child or the custodian, and that modification is necessary to serve the child’s best interests.
And visitation is its own provision. Section 452.400.1 RSMo entitles a parent not granted custody to reasonable visitation unless the court finds visitation would endanger the child’s physical health or impair their emotional development.
Who Can Help With Custody and Relocation in St. Louis?
The plan is the whole thing, because life after divorce runs on whatever the plan actually says.
Bardol Law Firm practices only family law, and we are in the St. Louis County, St. Louis City, St. Charles County and Jefferson County courts regularly. If your case is still open, the schedule is the document to spend your time on, down to the holiday language and the exchange details. If it is already final and you are planning a move, or you have received a notice, the thirty day and sixty day clocks in Section 452.377 RSMo are the first thing to look at. Our child custody page covers the framework, and our other family law questions and answers cover the rest of Chapter 452 RSMo.
You should not have to chase your attorney for basic updates while your children’s schedule is being decided. Every client here has a named paralegal on the file, and we return calls from potential clients as quickly as possible, and usually within minutes.
Family Law, Simplified.
If a move is coming, on either side, the notice rules are worth understanding before anybody signs a lease. Contact Bardol Law Firm or call 314.918.0100.
This page is general information about Missouri law and is not legal advice. Every case turns on its own facts. The choice of a lawyer is an important decision and should not be based solely upon advertisements.