How Do I Make My Divorce Less Emotional?
By Steve Bardol on November 16th, 2015 in blog, Divorce
Easier said than done, I know. As a St. Louis divorce attorney, almost
every client I encounter is dealing with the rocky emotions of divorce when they come into my office for the first time. While completely taking the emotions out of a divorce case is nearly impossible, there are steps you can take to improve things drastically.
Follow these steps and you might soon be feeling much better about your current situation:
- View Your Case as a Business Transaction: While the parties in a divorce are typically focused on issues such as adultery and abusive behavior (and rightfully so), it is no coincidence that your divorce attorney is more concerned with the numbers, assets and procedure. The Court has no choice but to view your case statistically, as splitting up property, assets, etc. is what the Court is being asked to do. Next time you sit down at a Court appearance, think like a businessman trying to get the best outcome possible in a negotiation.
- Hire a Counselor: There really is no shame in hiring a counselor. They are helpful and have handled situations like yours before. And while your attorney has no problem collecting his or her hourly rate to discuss any issue you call about, it is substantially cheaper to hire a counselor. Even the best ones are typically $50-$100 less an hour than your divorce lawyer.
- Take Care of Yourself: In my divorce practice, I consistently receive emails from clients at 3 or 4 in the morning. This type of behavior is not helping your health or your case. Go to bed and get some sleep. Exercise. Eat well. Spend time with family friends. And stop thinking about your case every minute of the day. In the end you will be much better off not being consumed by your divorce.
- Settle the Case: The stress of a divorce case is not always worth what you are fighting over. Please do not misunderstand what I am saying. Some cases have complex issues that require lengthy litigation and eventually trial. However, the majority of cases last too long because one party or the other is being stubborn over something that is not worth fighting over. Any divorce attorney in town can give you a dozen examples of clients who paid attorney’s fees of a much higher amount than the thing they are fighting over. Always weigh the cost vs the reward. As I said earlier, a lawsuit is a form of business transaction. View it as such and cut your losses when the transaction will not be profitable to you.
While these tips will not completely eliminate the emotional toll of your divorce, they can improve things. And if we really step back and look at your current situation, you know that many of these things would instantly improve your current quality of life.
Contact our divorce attorneys in St. Louis today to schedule a consultation.
